Before traveling to Australia Sarah and I had been fore-warned about the amount of flesh, midriff, cleavage etc that we would be exposed to Down Under which in fact, did turn out to be true but what we both conspired to agree upon was that in relation to “big tits,” (which we were told we would definitely see) we found that these “big tits” were generally to be found behind a pair of wrap-around sunglasses, covered in tattoos, thick-set cum borderline obese at least, hairy in the wrong places, speaking a curious form of pigeon-English and male. We had also been warned that Sydney has a serious drug problem which also transpired to be evident given the number of men we saw (and not just the Aborigines who have had a tough run to say the least since the first convict-laden ships arrived a few short centuries ago) perched on many a door step publicly smoking/mixing all sorts of “gear” whilst many others, who dotted the town-centre doorways and street-corners, had already passed out, already succumbing to the poison they had pumped into their systems or were sitting, more often than not, in a trance-like state oblivious to the world and what was happening around them. On the news we were told that 60% of Australians are obese and that an attempted car thief had shot a man and injured, quote “his mate” whilst an “Acting Fire Officer” (why don’t they get a real one) joked that he would be returning to a certain neighbourhood before long as bushfires would, surely, soon be claiming a few more houses before the summer season ends, something the neighbours would be pleased to hear I’m sure.
However, like anywhere else in the world, everywhere has its problems but Sydney in December, and a chance to see the famous New Year Fireworks we have seen so many times on News at Ten as a child was a big draw and proved to be definitely worth seeing.
Now the harbour area, opera house and bridge are spectacular and fish and chips at Doyle’s, on the harbour-front, is a must. The nearby Rocks area consists of a number of criss-crossing streets that house a large number of al-fresco restaurants, art galleries, knick-knacky shops as well as some great patisseries selling delicious pies and salads.
On the second day we did the “Bridge-climb” which took us to the dizzy heights, and summit as our guide informed us, of Sydney Harbour Bridge, a great experience that yielded some spectacular views of the world’s largest natural harbour. This was followed by a night at Darling Harbour where Australia’s hoy-palloy moor their boats and get a bite to eat at one of the many exclusive restaurants that skirt this up-market port where one can expect to queue for a seat but is definitely worthwhile for the views alone.
A day trip to Manly Beach by ferry not only gives you opportunity to see the outskirts of this sprawling harbour and a chance to wander round a number of souvenir shops and have lunch on a restaurant strip that offers virtually every kind of food known to mankind but also, the added bonus of a few leisurely hours soaking up a few rays on a pleasant, but overly-crowded beach. It was 40degrees the day we went and slapping on oodles of factor 30 was the order of the day to prevent us from quite literally, frying.
On our last full day we boarded the Bondi Explorer, a hop-on hop-off bus service that does a loop round the harbour taking in its best attractions. We headed out for a couple of cliff-top walks, one near “The Gap” (harbour entrance) and the second one that took us from Bondi Beach down the coast to Tamarama and Bronte Beach, that was after a well-earned lunch at Bondi beach at an outdoor restaurant which was packed with “surfer dudes, studs and all, and toned gals wearing not a lot.”
Our last evening was spent watching the spectacular fireworks display. We actually arrived at our vantage point, near the Opera House and in a Park, seven hours before the show started and it was busy then. By 8 o’clock the whole harbour front and surrounding parks were packed with over a million spectators. Needles to say, it was bloody busy!!
So, now you all know where we saw out “the old” and embraced “The New Year,” one that will no doubt have its ups and downs, highs and lows, nasty shocks and pleasant surprises, friends who will be gained and lost and all the other emotions that go with life in general. Thanks to all of those of you who sent us Christmas cards, emails, snail mails and well wishes.
On that note we both wish you health, wealth and happiness for the forthcoming year.
All the best, Roger and Sarah
Has Roger had several glasses of wine too many?
